Impeach The Fucker

Never in my whole entire life have I ever seen a dumber, more incompetent piece of shit, sit in The Oval Office–in the highest office–in the entire free World.  This speaks levels, because I was born when Nixon was in office.

Imagine that you’re a parent.  You have a child that constantly lies, cheats and steals.  What would you do?  Would you let your child respond to you by shouting “fake news”?  Would you allow your child to have an army of public relations butt wipes to smear your name?

All jokes aside, every parent has had to handle a problem child.  However, not every American has had to handle a problematic President of The United States.

This guy will go down as the worst president in United States history, and that is really great news for George W. Bush and Herbert Hoover.  All that said, the democrats think they have a chance to take over the majority in the House and Senate…not so fast.

I’m one of those democrats who think that the “blue wave” is not real.  It is not real on the sole basis of the very strong support that the Orange Menace has with his “base”.  His approval rating is 42%.  That is higher that President Obama’s approval at the same time in his presidency.  A red wave took over the house and senate, and many think that the pendulum will swing back towards the democrats.

…I beg to differ.


There are Russian trolls everywhere.  They are where you least expect it.  They comment on facebook pages, twitter trends, and instagram.  They comment on local news feeds, and they comment in numbers.  This doesn’t sound like a big deal, but if you’re someone who doesn’t have a clue about politics and see comments from 100 people all railing either for one person, or railing against their opponent–that’s influence.  It causes the political novice to form a biased opinion, and I think that’s why the democrats are going to lose.

The biggest problem with democrats is that they are pussies.  They always try to take the high road.  They don’t have the ability to fight fire with fire.  Anyone with half a brain knows that Trump is unfit for the office that he is holding.  Shit, he’s unfit for life.  The democrats need to run on impeachment.  They need to run on gun control, immigration and they need to paint the republicans as a corrupt political organization.  With that said, in order for democrats to win in the south they have to act like republicans–without the corruption.  It will have to take hardcore liberals to vote for a “prolife” democrat, or a “fiscal conservative” democrat.

It sounds pretty straight forward and simple, but with the two polarized political parties it is going to be tough, but it will be an easier pill to swallow if we all can unite to impeach the fucker!


We’re All Gonna Die On Halloween!!

asteroid It’s funny that with every mass shooting that takes place in America, Congress never finds the time for gun control legislation.  Meanwhile, when a group of Muslims attack the “Homeland” the President and douchebags in Congress wage wars in two different Countries, make it legal to torture anyone they consider to be a terrorist, wiretap ever single American’s phone line, monitor every single American’s social media, deploy drones to kill people, permanently detain people at the prison in Guantanamo, Cuba, and increase military spending 8,000%.  The list goes on and on and on.

In recent news, North Korea is flexing their muscles.  The douchebag-in-chief says he will act with force.  This douchenozzle will respond to North Korea by launching nuclear weapons, but thinks that talking about gun control is “too soon” in the wake of the recent tragedy in Las Vegas.  Really?  Oh, really?  REALLY?

Close to 4,000 American’s died on 9/11 and America reacted by waging an endless war in Afghanistan, a botched up war in Iraq–which lead to the development of ISIS–twelve trillion dollars of debt…and no apologies.  On the other hand, every single year in America 30,000 people die from gun violence, and the G.O.P. answer is for more Americans to buy guns?

Americans are all out of prayers.  Americans are also insane.  We live in a celebrity culture.  The very same celebrity culture that lead to the rise of the Cheeto Jesus occupying the Oval Office.  Every mass shooting is followed by massive amounts of media attention–followed by another mass shooting, and more media attention.  In between the mass shootings we have people who use their cars or trucks as weapons.

These are the times, and I wouldn’t be surprised if on Halloween is the end of times.

Fuck The National Anthem #StandUpForSomething

bloody flagIt’s hard to believe the level of stupidity overflowing in the minds of the underdeveloped  neanderthal.  These same mother fuckers that use their first amendment right to march down Main Street with their German Swastika arm bands and their Confederate fucking flags–with their Russian made AK-47’s slung on their shoulders are trying to tell me that a few dozen athletes who have decided to take a knee while the National Anthem is playing is somehow unpatriotic.  Let’s see…the confederates lost the War.  You’re a loser.  The German’s lost the war.  You’re a loser.  The Russians went from the number two superpower to a crumbling piece of shit led by a dictator that kills his foes.  You’re a loser….but hey, you have Trump.

Donald Trump is the biggest, fucking, piece of shit to have ever been elected and that says a whole lot.  This piece of shit has said that ALL Mexicans are rapists, blacks are thugs…the list goes on and on, but in your stupid fucking shit bag you call a brain you think he’s “refreshing”.

What I find to be refreshing is if you were to take a bullet from a gun that was fired by George Zimmerman, but that would never happen because you’re probably gonna be white.  However, to all y’all Uncle Tom coon ass motherfuckers, George is coming for you.

So, just what the fuck is the National Anthem anyway?

The “Star-Spangled Banner” was written by this stupid fucking slave owning cracka Francis Scott Key.  This racist piece of shit bought his first slave in 1800, and he owned six slaves in 1820. Now, I know some of you dumb motherfuckers are gonna say, “Oh, but everybody owned slaves back then.”…


Slavery is alive and well in 2017.  If you’re black you’re forced to live with shitty access to education, and if you’re one of the lucky ones to manage not to go to jail, you end up with a shitty job–which leads to living in a shitty neighborhood–driving around in shitty cars–which causes them to get pulled over by shitty police–which leads them to get shot and killed.  These athletes are exposing the system.  The system designed to purposefully and willfully hold down blacksbloody flag….but…but “these athletes are hypocrites because they are rich, and they live in nice neighborhoods–and drive around fancy cars”.  Yeah, they are also surrounded by shitty neighbors who don’t feel they belong.  They are not taking a knee for themselves, they are taking a knee for all the people in their past, present and future and that is more noble than the assholes in outrage who support the racists of the past.

We live in America.  I understand that we are all afforded that freedom, but if you’re one of the motherfucking assholes who think that people who take a knee during the National Anthem are somehow less patriotic than you–look in the mirror.  Oh, don’t even try to invoke religion to this argument, because if you’re against the people trying to effect change–you are

So, you wanna learn to play the guitar? Here are some tips

Playing the guitar is a lot like solving a Rubix Cube, and for those of you who don’t know what a Rubix Cube is, allow me to explain

rubixBack in the 80’s, there was a sensation running in the nation.  That sensation was the invention of a multi-colored, six sided cube known to be the Rubix.  The object of the cube was to match all the colors on all the sides of the cube…easier said than done.  This cube was so hard to solve, that most people ended up throwing it in their drawers after only playing a few weeks.  FACT: Less than 1% of the total U.S. population can solve the cube.  Another FACT:  less than 1% of the total U.S. population have mastered playing the guitar.

Now, I’m not saying this to discourage you from playing.  I’m just letting you know what you’re in for.  So, here are just a few tips to help you make the easiest and most rewarding decision…to play, or not to play.

1.  Is the guitar for me?

I’ve watched countless videos of my Guitar Gods, and one thing stands out.  Most of the successful guitar players, in history, were shy.  Yes, Jimi Hendrix, Slash, Eric Clapton, Eddie Van Halen were shy.

“But, they can’t be shy!!??!!  They make a living playing on stage to thousands of people.”  True, but in the case of Slash–he is so shy that he has to wear the hat and sunglasses to block everyone out.  Another fact, guitar players are lonely.

If you’re someone who has problems communicating with people, the guitar can and will be your best friend.

2. Choosing your axe

So, you decided that the guitar is for you.  Now what?  Here are just a few words of caution.  Keep your options open when it comes to buying a guitar.  Often times, people make the mistake of buying a guitar similar to their guitar heroes.  In my case, he hero is Jimi Hendrix.  Jimi played a Fender Strat, and my first guitar was a cheap Strat copy.  I learned a few chords on it, got discouraged and put it away.  Twenty years later, I got the guitar bug back and bought a Gibson.  I was in love, and that love is still ongoing.

There are hundreds of guitars to choose from, but there are only three guitar configurations to choose from.

There are the humbucker guitars.  The single coil guitars, and the humbucker/single coil guitars.  Choosing the right guitar for you means that you must figure out what sound you like.

Single coil guitars sound bright, and the pickups are a bit noisy.  Humbucker pickup guitars are dark sounding, and are not noisy.  It’s hard for one to understand what it is to sound bright or dark until you pick up a guitar and play it through an amp.

stratA Fender Strat has three single coil pickups, and retails for $1,200 for an American Deluxe and $500 for a Mexican.

gibsonA Gibson Les Paul has two humbuckers, and retails for $1,600 for a Standard.  $800 for a studio, and $400 for an Epiphone copy

If those guitars are out of your budget I would highly recommend buying an Ibanez

ibanezHere is an Ibanez RG series with two humbucker pickups and a single coil in the middle.  This one also has a Floyd Rose bridge, and locking nut.  Most people would not recommend this guitar to a beginner, but I disagree.  If your someone who is into Steve Vai, Joe Satriani and Eddie Van Halen this would be good, and the price on this is very reasonable, starting at $300 used or, you can find one without the Floyd Rose style bridge for $189 or less.  I have an Ibanez RX series that I paid $80 for, and it sounds amazing.

When it comes to buying a guitar try staying away from guitars made in China.  They might look really nice, but they all have their share of problems–mostly in the neck.  And that leads to one of the most important things in deciding what guitar is right for you–the feel of the neck.

In my opinion, Ibanez guitars have the nicest feeling necks.  But, that is a personal preference, and everyone is different.

3. Choosing an amp

Choosing a guitar amp is almost as important as what style guitar to buy.  Know your limitations.  Don’t go out and buy a Marshall half stack when you live in a 60 unit apartment complex packed full of retirees.  Try buying a combo amp that comes with built in effects.  Line6 has a nice amp that has over 100 effects, and is priced under $300.  You can also find them on eBay or Craigslist used for $150.  Try to stay away from a tube amp, in the beginning.  Those are finnicky, and are meant to play loud.  Again, know your surroundings.  If you live out in the Country with no neighbors, buy one.

4. I have the guitar and amp, now what?

There will be people that will tell you that you have to learn chords.  You have to learn scales.  You have to learn theory.  You have to memorize every note on the fretboard…I beg to differ.  It is important to learn all those things, but it is more important just to have fun.  There are plenty of resources on the internet.  Youtube is a perfect venue for instruction.  There is Steve Stine from guitarzoom , which I highly recommend.  He makes learning music theory easy.  You can take lessons from your local music shop, or you can teach yourself.  Just go to any tab site on the internet, search for your favorite song and learn.     Youtube also has tutorials on how to read tab.  It’s not hard.

I hope that I informed you on what to look for.  Feel free to like or subscribe, and leave me a comment to tell me what you think.  Have fun, and learn to play the guitar!


Knowing When To Stand and Preparing To Fall

We, as humans, are faced with the sometimes daunting task of simple decision making.  The average person makes hundreds of decisions in one single day.  Some are small, inconsequential.  Some have the ability to affect the individual.  Some can affect others, and some can impact the whole World.  Jimi Hendrix made the decision to commit himself to learning to play the guitar, and that he did.  That was a decision that truly changed the World.  At least, it changed me.

I have this dream of becoming the greatest guitar player to have ever lived.  It is not a dream that is out of reality.  It is not a dream out of reality, because I can see myself being interviewed by some elite journalist from “Guitar World”.  And in this interview we’re going over my technique on playing the guitar.  All the whole he is quietly stroking my ego while I’m trying to appear embarrassed–passing my praise off to my heroes like Jimi Hendrix and Jimmy Page.

I can see myself playing to thousands of people.  I can see myself enjoying all the riches that playing guitar can get me, but I can’t convince myself to practice.  Don’t get me wrong, I do practice.  The problem is that I practice the same thing over and over, day after day, and expecting a different result.  According to Einstein, that is the definition of insanity.  But I don’t seem to think so.  I consider that to make me a hopeful optimistic.  I’m patiently waiting for that day when I have that “Eureka” moment.  The day when when the fruits of my labor have grown into something worth it all.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I have countless amounts of people that tell me my playing is good.  However, it doesn’t sound good to my ears.  And I consider my ears to be very important.  I have decided to stand, and I also decided that I refuse to fall.

Being a parent involves making some tough decisions.  I wouldn’t know what it is like to be a parent, since I never had kids.  So, I have to go off of the decisions my parents had to make that involved me and my siblings.  My father didn’t have to do much.  He was never there, but my mother had to find a way to work and raise three kids.  She had to work two or three jobs to provide food on the table, clothing on our backs and a roof over our heads.  I was truly blessed.  I lived in a really good neighborhood.  I had some of the greatest of friends.  I partook in some of the greatest childhood experiences…and I looked into the eyes of the single most beautiful girl in the World.

My mother chose to move us out of a bad neighborhood into a great neighborhood for the sole purpose of her kids to receive the benefits of a good education.  She had complete trust that when her kids went to school our teachers would do their jobs, to the best of their abilities.  She knew that if there was ever a problem she could call the police and they would respond quickly.  The same can be said for the fire department, or the town hall.

However, times are changing…

It seems to me that a swatch of parents find it hard to take responsibility.  If their child fails a class in school it’s somehow the teachers fault.  Instead of assessing the child, of course, it’s the teachers fault because they’re some sort of lazy union thug that only took the job so they can get all the major holidays and the summer off.  On the other hand, these same parents seem to think that all police officers are doing a good job.  And if they happen to be one of the several hundred police officers who stumble upon killing an unarmed person….eh, it was the victims fault.

Which brings me to this past election.  Much has been made about the election being the most exceptional election in modern day history.  I don’t seem to think so.  It was just your average, ordinary election when it comes to the fact that you had someone running as a democrat, and someone, running, to be a republican.  This has been going on for over one hundred years.  A democrat stands for something, the republican stands for the complete opposite, and it just keeps growing from there.  You know, I remember when republicans used to stand for something.  I am also old enough to remember when democrats and republicans used to work together.  A time when common ground wasn’t such a bad thing, but now republicans use their time when they’re not in power to say that nothing can be done because of the yuuuge national debt.  Then, they spend their time in power building a yuuuge national debt.  They go on, and on, about how religious they are.  And about how pro-life they are, but when that child grows up to be gay…they deserve to go to hell.  And that is what God would want for them.

Let’s face it, Donald Trump didn’t win the election.  It just comes down to the fact that Hillary Clinton lost the Electoral College.  It’s sad to me, because I wanted a woman to succeed the first black president–and Hillary would’ve been the best…at least in my opinion. Trump is a real estate guy, so I’ll use a real estate analogy.  Donald Trump was that real estate agent that tried to sell you a piece of shit house and said, “It’s a piece of shit, and I know a piece of shit when I see it, buh-lieve me.  But that piece of shit has the best plumbing in the World.”  Hillary’s problem was that she kept telling the voters, “…but the house is still a piece of shit!”  The liberals can say that her loss was attributed to the Russians, to WikiLeaks, to Comey, her stupid f-ing emails, yadda, yadda, yadda, but she never managed to convince people to buy her magnificent splendor of a house. And she failed in that respect, because her vision was already completed.  I mean, you can’t sell someone on promising to deliver education when a vast majority of people have access to good, decent education.  Democrats have been running on the education platform for over forty years.

They say that Trump won because of all the stupid voters, but his voters aren’t stupid.  They were smart enough to see that he was different.  They were smart enough to see that piece of shit and not question the plumbing.  The only stupid thing about the Trump voter is that they voted for someone who doesn’t stand for anything, and if you vote for someone who doesn’t stand for anything–you will fall for everything.

He promised to “drain the swamp”.  However, going by his cabinet picks, he has managed to fill the swamp with alligators that like to consume their young.  He promises to “Build a wall and have Mexico pay for it.”  He promises to ban Muslims from entering into this Country.  He promises to deport all the “illegals”.  He promises to repeal “Obamacare”.  He promises to stop having black people getting shot and killed in their neighborhoods.  “What have you got  to lose?” We’ll see how that goes.

I’m not one who wishes him well. I have a feeling that I know how things are going to end up.  I have a feeling that Trump is a guy that means what he says, but I question if he’ll do what he says.  That’s not to say he’ll do what he means.  He’ll govern that way, buh-lieve me.  May Jack Daniels bless us all, we’re gonna need it.

America Voted For The One Night Stand

I spend a great deal of time thinking about time.  What if Al Gore won the electoral college back in 2000?  We wouldn’t have had a terrorist attack on 9/11?  We wouldn’t have invaded Iraq and Afghanistan.  We wouldn’t have seen the creation of ISIS.  Syria would be going on with business as usual, and the great economic recession of 2008 would not have happened.  We wouldn’t have had 8 years of tax cuts that crippled the debt. In fact, we wouldn’t be talking about the debt because it would have been paid off.  There would have been more jobs created, people wouldn’t be loosing their homes, and the ones that do own homes would see a greater equity….


that would mean we would never have had an Obama Presidency.  We never would have had the chance to witness a  skillful leader to transition us through the toughest of times.  And, I guess that would mean that we wouldn’t have had to deal with Hillary Clinton and her stupid fucking emails.

Why stop there?  What if Robert F. Kennedy was not assassinated.  What if he won the presidency in 1968, against Nixon? The end of the Vietnam War?  No Watergate?No Jimmy Cater, and no fucking Ronald Reagan!…which probably would mean no Al Gore, but who gives a shit because we had Robert Fucking Kennedy and no Nixon!

If we’re talking about changing time we can’t go without talking about J.F.K, Abraham Lincoln and Hitler.  What would 8 years of a Kennedy Presidency look like?  How would he have shaped the Country?  Would he have pushed for the Civil Rights Act of 1964?  Would Abraham Lincoln have given the freed slaves their forty acres and a mule?

Let’s talk about Hitler.  What would it have been like if the allies lost World War II to Germany’s Hitler?  As a democrat, I feel that the election of Trump was just that.  America lost, Hitler won.  I’m not trying to sound hyperbolic.  It is what i is.

Just the thought of traveling back in time to right some wrongs is fascinating, and scientifically challenging.  It’s why shows that delve into the impossible are gripping. However, one thing common n all these television shows or movies involving time travel focus on the importance of preserving significant events in time as to not change events, as not to lead in cascading change.  I always thought that was one of the dumbest fucking things I ever heard.  I mean, if I had the ability to create a time machine, go back in time, suffer through the effects of what that machine can do to my physical body.  Go through the trouble of dressing up in period costume.  Go through the trouble of speaking in the dialect of the time–go back in time, and be at the instant that Lincoln gets shot and what?  Go back home?  Get the fuck out of here! I would have shot John Wilkes Booth before he ever had a chance to kill Lincoln, and I sure as hell would have killed Lee Harvey Oswald.  And, after all has been said and done–if the outcome was still the same–I would keep going back in time to fix the wrong.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I love me a big ol’ time machine, but what if I told you that we didn’t need a time machine to influence time?  What if I told you that we all are doing it–this very second.

We all have voices in our heads, right?  That certain voice that tells you what to eat.  That certain voice that tells you who to date.  That certain voice that tells you to join the military…or that certain voice that tells you to run for President of The Fucking United States.  Maybe they might not be voices, maybe they manifest themselves in gut feelings.  We all have that gut feeling.

I went on a date with a girl I met online.  We met up at a bar.  She was really hot, and not that into me.  But after a few drinks she loosened up and was digging me.  However, everything that came out of her mouth was nonsense.  The shit that was coming out sounded like some cult-like stupid liberal hippie bullshit….but she was hot.  I was horny, and my gut was telling me to jump in.  In the end, I was wrong, but I felt really good for 30 minutes or so.

Hillary Clinton had her flaws, but they weren’t as much as Trump’s.  However, in the end, America decided to vote for the one night stand.  One night stands are a lot of fun, but there is always one of them in which the other person never wants to leave the house in the morning.  Eventually, they do.  But the one night stand that voters voted for in this election is not going to leave your house.  In fact, not only is he not going to leave your house but he is going to burn it down.

However, before he burns it down he’s going to kill your gay brother, hang your black neighbor, deport your Hispanic nanny and grab your mothers pussy just before he shoves a tic tac in his herpes filled mouth, and you’re the one that is going to be shouting MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Trump Cunt

I have the keen ability to spot a bullshitter, and it’s not something that requires an undergraduate degree.  It is not even something that requires a graduate degree.  Shit, it doesn’t require a Ph.d, or even a fucking high school diploma.  You know how you can spot a bullshitter?  You can spot a bullshitter by the use of one word, and that word is “I”.  “I built that”, “I pulled myself up from my bootstraps.” “I solved the problem.” “I, alone, can fix it.”   Now, I have nothing against a bullshiter.  We all have put some kind of bullshit on our resumes.  We all have the told that certain someone what they want to hear when we wanted to get in their pants.  A really good bullshitter doesn’t have to pop a tic tac to grab some pussy.  A real good bullshitter can’t just get by on just their words.  They have to have a grandiose sense of confidence. Have you ever bought a used car?  You pull up to the dealership, and you see a car.  You look at that car and the paint looks great. You ask the dealer about the particulars, and you want it.  That son of a bitch lays it on so thick that–when you take the car on a test drive you overlook the noises that can be heard under the hood. You overlook the dry rotted tires, and you are overwhelmed with a trusted feeling you have with the dealer.  Even if everything in your being is telling you not to buy it–you resist.  And when you take the car home–and it starts to fall apart–you come away with the realization that you got fucked.  The paint starts to peel on your first car wash. The air slowly exits the dry rotted tires.  The battery dies.  The car leaves you stranded, and you’re left getting fucked hard up the ass. You can’t return it, because it was sold “as is”.  You can’t sell it without loosing money.  If you put money into fixing it, it will be worth less than you put in to it, and I think that’s what the presidential election of 2016 turned out to be. Millions of people chose to buy a piece of shit car from a piece of shit salesman.

It basically comes down to these two choices; buying a car from a reputibal four star dealer, or buying a car from Trump Cunt Used Car Sales.  Now, I know mother fuckers are going to get all offended by the word “cunt”, and these are the same mother fuckers that hate this country so fucking much that they actually thought the safest choice was to vote for the most vile, racist, sexist, masochistic.  

Let’s put it this way, when Obama got the keys to the car he bought–it was sitting on blocks with the tires missing.  The interior was stripped, the engine was missing and it was on fire. Slowly but surely he did the bodywork, slapped some paint on it, replaced all the glass.  Put on a nice pair of rims, and even installed a CB radio for all the redneck fuckers to communicate with their other redneck buddies.  It took eight years, but it was one bitching ride.  But some cunty, orange faced dickwad came over wanting to buy it. He looked at this car, and told the owner that it was a bigly piece of shit.  It was the bigliest piece of shit he ever saw.  It was a disaster. Most people would walk away from this deal, but most people aren’t cunts.  A cunt is someone who buys a car, tells the seller that he will take care of his baby, only to part the car out piece by piece, part by part, bumper to bumper.  And in the end, there will never be a trace of that really nice car.  Now, I wish the election was that simple, because if I bought that car I would cherish it.  I would appreciate it.  I would remember how long it took to restore it.  I would remember what it looked like when I bought it, but there are junk men around us.  See, junk dealers don’t care about how nice your car is.  Their bottom line is to pay the least amount and get the most amount of money.

The next few months are going to be filled with cunts and douchebags arguing on what to do with the car, and I don’t give a shit. You can blow it up, sell it to Russia, or give it to your other billionaire buddies. You can do whatever you want, but in the end you’re still going to be a cunt. And so are all those people who helped you buy it. So, not to be bling,…go fuck yourself and I hope your car dies and leaves you stranded.