…..and, this is why you suck MSNBC


Dear MSNBC

I have tried to reach out to you, but I keep falling on deaf ears. I’m sure you are not going to read this, nor will you care. But, to the five or six people who actually take the time to read this will. And, my therapist says it is good for me to air out my pain. It leads to a lower blood pressure, and some semblance of sanity. So, here we go

MSNBC, YOU SUCK…and this is why

I have waited all my life for the right wing’s claim that you are the ultimate in the liberal media elite’s. So much so, that I ended my five year boycott to the evil cable company. And subscribed to expanded basic service. I’m surprised at all the flaming liberals on your network. Andrea Mitchell, Dylan Ratigan, the two people on that morning show with hard to spell last names. Yeah, you know who I’m talking about. The liberals who brag about being on Twitter, hype the living shit out of their twitter names. The one’s that amass so many Twitter followers, that they choose to ignore them by selectively replying to a select few names that they pull out of a hat. Actually, it sounds like how you cherry pick the news. Sharing some tweets like, “Hey, 2hrs 2 air tell us wht u thnk” Yeah, that sounds so liberal. So, why do I constantly get a bad case of diarrhea every time I flip on the channel?

The 6-9 A.M. Time slot is, by far, the worst time slot you have…EVER… I would rather watch episodes of “Lockup:Cochran”, or a marathon of “To Catch A Predator” than watch that rubbish. Your network is so liberal that you have Pat Buchanan, Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski talking about how to efficiently and effectively obtain information from someone, who has no fucking information! Seriously, if I wanted to watch a bunch of asshats in the Morning, I would turn the channel to FOX. Oh wait, you guys are copying FOX.

No–seriously– you are copying FOX. Where are the facts? More importantly, why do people feel the need to back down from Joe. Joe, who claims he doesn’t engage in crossfire debates, sure loves to challenge anyone who disagrees with him. He has Mika looking like his lap dog, as of late. In fact, Mika feels the need to follow Joe across the Country on his many book signings.

The only person who knows how to give a royal, liberal ass whooping, is Lawrence O’Donnell. Remember the “red meat” speeches during the conventions? Well, Lawrence O is a bloody rare Porterhouse Steak on a silver platter. Which brings me to the underlying point.

Why is it so hard for executives at MSNBC to recognize talent?

Oh, Oh, Oh, Mr. Kotter…I get it. You keep the talent on the sidelines!

David Shuster should get a cheesy 3-5 slot, but David Gregory gets to moderate the Holy Grail of Sunday talk, “Meet the Press”? You do know that if the ratings go any more South, you will have to report from Antartica. Yeah, the ratings are really that bad. The only thing saving that show is the support from Gregory’s rabid right wingers, because David “I danced with turd blossom” Gregory does not hold back from showing his bias.

Then there is super Liberal Contessa Brewer. Put her together with the girl who looks like the joker from Batman, Melissa Francis, and you have super liberal power hour. I’m sure their parents are proud of their careers. I yearn to see them popping gum from their mouths and chanting the words,

“Oh my God—Becky–look at her butt—it is like soooo big”

Then you have Phi Beta Kappa graduate of UCLA, Monica Novotny, thinking “Who did Contessa sleep with, to get her job?”

But, I’m on to your super liberal elite status, as a media outlet, MSNBC. You dumped that right wing hack, David Shuster. You decided to replace him for Ed Shultz. Ed is so liberal that he rails against the liberal President of the United States, Barack Obama. Way to go Ed. You tell him, no you yell at him “WE NEED HEALTHCARE REFORM ANDI DON’T CARE HOW MUCH IT COSTS!” Just to prove how liberal Ed is, he has to fill the void that the world has–for right wing nut jobs–by inviting fellow liberals like Tom Tancredo, Ron Christie, and my personal favorite Heidi Harris. They are so smart, and give such a well thought out analysis of politics that they get invited over and over and over again. But, that is how we reward success in this Country. Replace a pretty good show like “1600 Pennsylvania Avenue” with “The Ed Show”. I know that the only reason why you created “Race to the White House” with host David Gregory. It was his audition reel for the “Meet the Press” gig. We all know how great that show is doing since “Stretch” took over the helm. I also remember you auditioning Chuck “the goatee” Todd and “Help me I need glasses” Andrea Mitchell. They might be great reporters, but their skills on the Teleprompter makes John Hazelwood get “Oil Tanker Captain of the Year”. What do I know, anyway?

And, you just couldn’t leave Dylan Ratigan to be. To let him rot in the wilderness that is called “the land of the fired hack talent”. The land that you sent Dan Abrams and Tucker Carlson to rightfully live. For better or for worse. Why did you bring him onto MSNBC, when he behaved like such a diva on CNBC’s program, “Fast Money”? Don’t make me break out the youtube clip of his child like antics, and petty behavior. So, I was watching his super liberal morning show, “Morning Meeting”, and I have to say that if there was ever a show that I would want to listen to while I was doing my “Morning Duty” then that is the show for me. The excrement will exit my body, with all the toxins contained within, at the mere sound of his annoying rants. Rants that go on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, about the National Debt and the burden it will place on the future children of America.

HEY DYLAN: Do I have to remind you who ran up the debt the past 8 years. Do I have to remind you of all the dead teenage soldiers that are dying everyday in two wars that your prophet created? Oh, forgive me for my harshness. Perhaps, you can continue to help my colon release the shit out of my body everyday. You are so well at it. You are also so full of it. If you don’t want your future children to pay for the debt just have your future mother-to-be go out to Utah and get an abortion.

Now, it is time for me to just brush over Carlos Watson. You guys at MSNBC cannot, nor will you not appreciate the talent in that man to give him his own show, that bears his name. Just like that horrible train wreck of a show hosted by Dr Nancy.

Is it really that hard to find people who can read off a teleprompter, and not tripover their words? May I make a suggestion? They have this thing called rehearsal. And, the host comes off sounding 1,000 times better if they are the ones writing their own material. If you have your hosts write their own stuff, I guarantee the words will roll of their tongues.

Then, we have the host of Spitball with Chris Matthews. What purpose is served when Chris asks a 10 minute question and receives a 10 second response? Bueller, Bueller…

Here is a guy that got a tingle up his leg for Obama, but continues to get a hard on for Rush. What gives, Chris? You keep giving that whore, Rush, all the attention! Pfft, you and all your liberalness.

Then–there is Keith. I have nothing bad, nor do I have anything sarcastic to say about Keith. He soothes my soul. Yeah, I’m probably going to regret saying that, on the count of the gayness factor, sue me, I don’t care. Keith truly gives me what I need. Really good commentary supported my fact. And, the usual cast of characters that I have grown to really like. And, don’t get me going when Keith takes the night off. I really hate it when Keith takes the night off. The only thing that this hardcore political junkie looks forward to, all day, is Countdown with Keith Olbermann. Not Countdown with David Shuster, although Dave is really great. David is not the great almighty Keith!! If Keith decides to take the night off, do me a favor, just air an episode of “Lockup Raw”. I will understand, and I’m sure you have a ton of episodes to air.

Honestly, MSNBC, all I see when I tune on to your network is sea of White people that resemble the Ultra Liberal Grand Old Party. There is a reason they are called The Grand Old Party, and there is a reason that the overwhelming vast majority of this Country voted for Change. We voted for change that we can believe in. And, to be honest, I don’t believe in you anymore. When has the word “liberal” been such a dirty word that you have to run away from it? Why must you escape any chance of becoming a ratings juggernaut, and miss out on the massive window of opportunity. Why must you keep hyping the ultra rants of a racist comedian, Rush Limbaugh, and constantly ignore your viewers. Why must you try to boost the Ratings of Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, Ann Coulter, just to name a few?

It is beyond me the lack of innovation that you possess. I thought I lived in the greatest Country in the world. Shouldn’t the greatest Country in the world have the greatest media outlet in the world? Just because you are on cable, doesn’t mean you should conduct your show like a public access show. The only difference is that you have better lighting.

We live in a time where the traditional newspaper outlets are disappearing. Quite frankly, they deserve to go away. They have been acting very myopic for far too long. And, the way I see it, so are you. We need to have an insightful, intellectual, informative media. We, Americans, do not need Gossip, trash, tabloid journalism. The media should just stick to answering the traditional five questions, who, what, where, when and how. Rather than trying to engage in 7 minute segments, try experimenting with heated cross-fire debates. Try debating substance that entails logic and forethought. This isn’t rocket science. As an avid curious intellectual, I want to learn something new from a program. I know you will continue to disappoint us fellow liberals by continuing to do what you do. This was simply an exercise to express my views in a well thought out way. It might have come out as a bit harsh, but no where as harsh as “Morning Joe”.

I would also lay out the disclaimer that my use of the word “Liberal” was facetious, and was dripping with sarcasm. But, that is what we want. We want a really good, hardcore, liberal media. Face the facts, Conservatives will never tune into your network…when they have the fair and balanced (laughable) Fox News Channel.

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