I started smoking cigarettes when I was 14 years old in an attempt to be cool. I’m cool.
My first car was a 1975 Pontiac Trans Am. I’m cool.
I once kicked a guy in the nuts when he attempted to beat up on his girl. I’m cool.
I wrote a song for a girl that I was madly in love with. Three months later, she cheated on me. Fuck her, because I’m still cool.
I worked on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier. I’m cool.
I had sex with a celebrity…in my dreams, but I’m still cool.
When I was younger I helped a little old- lady cross the street. I don’t do that anymore, because I am soooooo cool.
I march to the beat of my own drum. Why?…because I’m cool.
I tell every chick I meet that I’m a pilot, because Pilots are cool.
I listen to classic rock, because it’s what all the cool kids do.
I make fun of white-collar conservatives. I’m a prick.
I write a blog. I’m bored