“I’m so cool I should get detention”

I started smoking cigarettes when I was 14 years old in an attempt to be cool.  I’m cool.

My first car was a 1975 Pontiac Trans Am.  I’m cool.

I once kicked a guy in the nuts when he attempted to beat up on his girl.  I’m cool.

I wrote a song for a girl that I was madly in love with.  Three months later, she cheated on me. Fuck her, because I’m still cool.

I worked on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier.  I’m cool.

I had sex with a celebrity…in my dreams, but I’m still cool.

When I was younger I helped a little old- lady cross the street.  I don’t do that anymore, because I am soooooo cool.

I march to the beat of my own drum.  Why?…because I’m cool.

I tell every chick I meet that I’m a pilot, because Pilots are cool.

I listen to classic rock, because it’s what all the cool kids do.

I make fun of white-collar conservatives. I’m a prick.

I write a blog.  I’m bored