“I’m not good enough”


Have you ever met a person that you felt was just “too good for you”?  And, what if this person was met via the internet.  Perhaps, through one of the many social network sites out there.  Facebook, MySpace, Twitter are full of singles “looking to mingle”.  Many people display their real-life pictures, and when that person uploads a tweet or a status update it can give someone else reading that tweet or status update a chance to associate that person with the words that are on the screen.

However, what happens if that person is not attractive?  There is nothing wrong with admitting that someone is not attractive.  Beauty is in the mind of the beholder, and everyone is born differently.  That is the beauty of life.  Studies have shown that a person doesn’t even take the time to read a persons tweet, or Facebook status update if the person making the post is viewed as “ugly” by the reader.

But, what if there was a way that we could alter our identity?  While we are altering things, what if we could even alter our race and ethnicity?

Have you, or know someone, that has fallen in love with someone on Twitter or Facebook who hides behind a celebrity image?  Maybe this person hides behind a pic of..oh, I don’t know…a dead 60’s rock God.  It is so easy to fall in love with this persons Tweets.  “Oh, he is so funny”, “Oh, she is sooo hot”, blah blah.

So, what happens when a person who uses the celebrity image falls in love with a person who uses their real image?  I mean, there has to be a reason that the person is using a celebrity image in the first place.  I’m sure that the person using the celebrity image is fully aware of the study that was done on “ugly people” getting ignored.  And, what if the person who uses her–or–his own image really likes the person who is using the celebrity image.

The person using the celebrity image knows exactly what the other person looks like–she is really hot!  However, the girl using her own image doesn’t really know what the guy using the celebrity image looks like.  They exchange tweets expressing how much they like each other, and nothing would make “celebrity dude” happier than to be in a lifelong relationship with “real girl”.  But, fear sets in.  “Celebrity dude” lacks confidence in himself and his looks to make the relationship happen.  Even though “real girl” never asks “celebrity dude” what he looks like, “celebrity dude” knows that day will come…so, he subconsciously sabotages his relationship with “real girl”?

The main question should be, Is this fair?

Is it fair for a person to hide behind a celebrity image?  I mean, every word that comes out of that person is theirs.  It is their personality, and if “real girl” is attracted to that..than is it alright?

Now, this is when things really get complicated.

What if  “real girl” was white and “celebrity dude” was black, but “celebrity dude” hid behind a white celebrities picture?  Of course, “real girl” has no clue that “celebrity dude” is black.  In a perfect world, a person’s color wouldn’t matter.  We do not live in a perfect world, and race does matter–subconsciously.

We all know that crimes such as murder and rape are on the rise.  So, if a white girl was to go for a hike in the woods and was to have a black man hiking towards her from the opposite direction–would she avoid eye contact?  Would he–try to establish eye contact.  Perhaps, he would like to extend a greeting.  Statistically, rapes and murders are conducted by white men in their twenties to thirties.  But, there are more blacks in prison.  Also, many blacks are depicted in a negative light in the media.  Some of which, are of their own doing.  Examples can be seen in the rap music world where “street cred” trumps civility.

I know, I know–what is the message?

I guess we should all strive to be like Stuart Smalley.  Yes, we should all be like Stuart Smalley.  Look in the mirror and say, “…I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and dog gone-it people like me”

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2 thoughts on ““I’m not good enough”

  1. I have always had my own picture up mainly because I am not on social media sites to meet anybody. I am married. But if I were single I would want ppl to know what I looked like way before they started liking me. Especially if it’s a situation where you, or whoever, doesn’t have self confidence in their looks. You don’t want to set yourself up for someone liking you & your fake picture then seeing the real you & rejecting you. That’s almost like tricking someone into liking you. In my opinion. Same way I am sure you wouldn’t want to get involved with a girl who used a celeb pic and you didn’t know what she looked like or how much she weighed. Just show yourself & be yourself always and someone will like you for you. Meeting ppl is hard. So don’t make it more complicated than it needs to be. Just my opinion.

  2. Hi Shaggie
    I am also married and don’t need to fake what I look like but I have noticed people pay much more attention to me when I use an attractive picture of myself rather than what I really look like. The profile pic is my face, when I was like 20 and the hair is from faceinhole.com. I really am blonde but my hair is nowhere near that beautiful. People naturally judge a book by it’s cover- it is ingrained in our being. It has a lot to do with procreation and subconsciously picking good breeding stock.
    Namaste

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