I hate you

I hate you, and everything about you.  I hate the fact that you tell me not to use the word hate, because it is such a harsh word.  I hate the fact that my cursing offends you; fuck you, you sanctimonious piece of shit.  I hate that you wake me up to go to some stupid family function–with such urgency–only to leave me waiting for your stupid ass to finish blow drying your hair.  I hate your mother.  I hate your breath in the morning.  I even hate your cat.  Yeah, I fucking hate your cat.  I only told you I liked cats so I could have sex with you.  Oh yeah, I hate having sex with you!  I hate that you don’t like my car.  There is nothing wrong with my car.  I hate that you always have to remind me to go to the store to buy eggs.  I know we need eggs.  Why don’t you go buy them.  Oh yeah, I hate that you’re fat.  Get your ass up off the couch and exercise!  Is that so hard to ask?

I hate that you ignore me, except for when you need something.  I hate that the only time you make a comment on my Facebook or Twitter it’s to tell me that you find my post offensive–Fuck you and that roly-poly horse you rode in on.  I hate your horse ass.  I even hate that gap between your teeth.  Sure, it was sexy at first–but I hate it now.  I hate that you have to eat the Resse’s Peanut Butter cup that I hid in the freezer.  It was mine! I hate it that you have to tell me to put on my seatbelt.  If I wanna die not wearing my seatbelt than that’s my decision.  You just worry about yourself.

I hate that you hate snakes!

I hate that you hate sports!

I hate that you hate Samuel Jackson movies!

I hate that you hate dogs!

I hate that you love diamonds!

I hate that you love Justin Bieber!

I hate Justin Bieber!

I hate that you look like Justin Bieber…and you’re a girl!

I just fucking love to hate your ass!

2 thoughts on “I hate you

  1. LMFAO I know I shouldn’t laugh but this was priceless. I love the breath in the morning and the Reese’s Pieces. ROTF

    I don’t know if you intended to make us laugh but I needed it. Thanks! ❤

Comments are closed.