I hate you, and everything about you. I hate the fact that you tell me not to use the word hate, because it is such a harsh word. I hate the fact that my cursing offends you; fuck you, you sanctimonious piece of shit. I hate that you wake me up to go to some stupid family function–with such urgency–only to leave me waiting for your stupid ass to finish blow drying your hair. I hate your mother. I hate your breath in the morning. I even hate your cat. Yeah, I fucking hate your cat. I only told you I liked cats so I could have sex with you. Oh yeah, I hate having sex with you! I hate that you don’t like my car. There is nothing wrong with my car. I hate that you always have to remind me to go to the store to buy eggs. I know we need eggs. Why don’t you go buy them. Oh yeah, I hate that you’re fat. Get your ass up off the couch and exercise! Is that so hard to ask?
I hate that you ignore me, except for when you need something. I hate that the only time you make a comment on my Facebook or Twitter it’s to tell me that you find my post offensive–Fuck you and that roly-poly horse you rode in on. I hate your horse ass. I even hate that gap between your teeth. Sure, it was sexy at first–but I hate it now. I hate that you have to eat the Resse’s Peanut Butter cup that I hid in the freezer. It was mine! I hate it that you have to tell me to put on my seatbelt. If I wanna die not wearing my seatbelt than that’s my decision. You just worry about yourself.
I hate that you hate snakes!
I hate that you hate sports!
I hate that you hate Samuel Jackson movies!
I hate that you hate dogs!
I hate that you love diamonds!
I hate that you love Justin Bieber!
I hate Justin Bieber!
I hate that you look like Justin Bieber…and you’re a girl!
I just fucking love to hate your ass!