All you do is whine and complain…

and it makes me sick!

All you do is whine and complain about how your life is not perfect.

Breaking news, hot-shot–everyone’s lives are not perfect.  Not even that filthy rich hippie that created the internet!!  I’m sure the dude has a nagging wife or boyfriend that makes him feel like jumping off a building.

So, shut the fuck up!

All you do is whine and complain about how it’s so hard to save money–hard to save money when your millionaire dad gives you $2,000 a week just for being “daddies little girl”.  Yeah, more like daddies little bitch!  Am I jealous? Yeah…I’m fucking jealous.  I’m chilling in a tiny little studio in Van Nuys driving around a 21-year-old piece of shit car while you’re crying about driving your fathers four-year old Bentley–really?

All you do is whine and complain about how no one makes comments on your Facebook posts.

Breaking news: Your Facebook posts suck, and you can’t fucking spell!!

Daddy spent over $100,000 on your college education and you still can’t tell the difference between “their, there, they’re” and don’t even get me going with the other shit like “to, too, your, you’re” and all the other shit that you could learn if daddy were to buy your ass Hooked on Phonics–it worked for me!!

All you do is whine and complain about how your teeth are not white.

Breaking news: Why don’t you use some of that $2,000 a week that daddy gives you to go see a dentist.  You live in Los Angeles, and I’m sure it is very easy to find one that will make your teeth look like Chiclet’s gum.  But I’m sure you’ll find a way to complain about it after.

All you do is whine and complain about your love handles, and that little pooch.  Or, as i like to call it–your ass in the front.

Breaking news: You don’t have a job so why don’t you try a thing called exercise!!

All you do is whine and complain about how you don’t have any twitter followers.  It’s hard to get twitter followers when you only want to follow five people and refuse to follow back.

Breaking news: You are not a celebrity and no one gives a shit about you.  You want a lot of twitter followers? Go and rob a bank or something.  People love criminals!  If Charles Manson was on Twitter that fucker would have more followers than that prick Ashton Kutcher.

Breaking news: Don’t even get me going on that fucking prick, Ashton Kutcher!!

All of your whining and complaining has taken a toll on me.  So much of a toll that I’m whining and complaining about your whining and complaining, but I still love you little sis’.  Meet you at the Beverly Hilton for brunch and off to the spa?

Oh, tell daddy I want my money 🙂