There are two sides to Shaggie. There is the real Shaggie, and there is the online Shaggie. The online Shaggie is pretty cool. Actually, the online Shaggie is larger than life. This is rather significant, because the real Shaggie is a tad-bit boring. I tend to be cool when I am surrounded by people I know–not so much with strangers. However, there is a time–albeit not very often–that the real Shaggie can approach a total stranger.
That day was yesterday.
I was walking down the street, and there she was. As usual, my jaw dropped. You see, I tend to find the beauty in all women, but I often never react–or utter a word. I just gawk. Although, I don’t make it obvious…too obvious. This girl was different. I just had this really great feeling about her.
As I was getting closer to her I said, “Watch your step. There’s dog poop on the ground.” She immediately freaked out and then she thanked me. As quickly as she did that I told her, “Nah, I’m only joking.”
She didn’t really take it that well.
Sensing that she didn’t take it that well I quickly tried to defuse the situation by complimenting her on her hat. She had the cutest little Fidel Castro looking hat on.
I love the Fidel Castro hats!!
Well, she didn’t go for it. I struck out. I help up rather well though. I just told her I’ll see her around, and then she was on her merry way.
Women are funny like that. You just never know what is in their heads sometimes. I mean, I’m the guy who picked up a girl one night at a club by using the “Hey, is that a condom in your pocket?” pick-up line.
I’ll save that story for another time…
Later on that day, I decided to go for another walk. It was on the same path, and to my surprise–up in the distance–I saw the same girl with the Fidel Castro hat. My instincts told me to turn around, but it was too late.
She saw me
I had to pass by her, and I did. This time I said, “Yeah, remember me?” She replied, “Um, yeah”
She had a smile on her face. Her smile actually set my mind at ease. I was debating whether to apologize to her. I mean, I didn’t say anything bad to her. She’s too sensitive. As I was thinking of my next move she pulled out a 20 oz. bottle of Coke from her bag. She unscrewed the cap and brought it 2 inches before touching her lips. She quickly stopped, pointed the bottle in my direction and said, “would you like a drink?” I immediately replied, “Sure, you don’t have herpes or anything–do you?” She replied with an ear to ear smile. I took a swig of her beverage.
It was “refreshing”
Then, seconds later, a big burly bearded guy wearing a Hells Angels vest popped out of nowhere.
WTF should I do??????????
He looked at me with a smile, tapped me two times on my shoulders and said,
“I put pee-pee in your Coke.”
Then, he slapped his chick in the butt and they left.
Now, I don’t know what pee-pee is but that was a really great tasting beverage!!