Why is it that you can be in a spot for hours and not have one person show up until you have to fart?
Of course, it has to be one of the punchiest farts you ever ripped in your life. That doesn’t sit well with the person who has to sniff it, and it’s usually some really hot chick that you have a major crush on.

Speaking of hot chicks; why is it that the second you break up with a person they end up finding someone and marrying them within two months–or worse–hitting the lottery. I mean, I gave you the best five years of my life and this is how I get re-payed? Please pick up the phone. I still love you…I think.

Why is it that MacGyver could make a radio out of a toothpick and duct tape, but we don’t have a cure for cancer?

Why is it that white people really like monster trucks and Lionel Ritchie?

Why is it so hard to get people to admit they are into “Dungeons and Dragons”? You know you like it…stop frontin’.

Why is Kim Kardashian famous?

Why is it that the ugliest, fattest girl in High School grows up to be “Playboys” Miss October? True story. Remember me Ginger? I never made fun of you!! I never talked to you either, but I never made fun of you. Give me a kiss.

Why is it that the TV shows that we loved when we were kids suck-ass today? Well, all except for “CHiPs”.

Why is it that celebrities on Twitter don’t take the time to ever tweet their fans? Yeah, I’m directing that comment directly at you @MarthaStewart. I love you and I would appreciate it if you pretended to love me too. It would probably make me get the incredible urge to take my black ass to K mart to buy some of your tacky bed sheets. Yeah, the things we do for love.

Why is it that it won’t rain for 57 days straight and the one time you plan a major outdoor event–it rains? I think that’s God’s way of saying he hates you. Don’t feel bad though–he hates me too.

Why did Milli Vanilli have to give back their Grammy’s? Big deal, they lip-synced but so do hundreds of artists today.

Why is Wesley Snipes in jail for not paying taxes, but General Electric isn’t? It’s because he’s black!

I don’t know why things are the way they are, but I can tell you this; I need a nap.