Yeah, I’m a fucking liberal


I’m sick and tired of conservatives trying to fuck up my shit. How in the hell can you be a party that believes in fiscal responsibility when you put the fuck in fucked up government spending?

You bitches, single-handedly, blew up spending. Look at you with your fucking tax-cuts for the rich. You know what I think about your tax-cuts for the rich?

Suck. My. Big. Fat. Black. Dick!

So, you suddenly found Jesus and feel the need to save your children from the $14,000,000,000 debt? You want to take a guess who is responsible for that debt?

It’s that holy-roller fucking alcoholic George W. Bush. Stupid Bush with his two bullshit wars, tax-cuts and every other idiotic thing that a republican fucking does and now they have to blame all this shit on the black guy.

I believe that Bush and his fat little buddy, Cheney, should stand trial for the fucking war crimes that they ordered. We live in The United Mother Fucking States of America and that doesn’t mean we torture the fuck out of people. Oh yeah, stupid fucking conservatives think that waterboarding isn’t torture. This coming from the same people who need to sleep with a fucking nite-lite on with the fan blowing on their pudgy fucking faces because they’re afraid of the dark. And the sounds of the cars driving by at night. You fucking pussies!! Don’t you dare tell me that I’m not a patriot, either. First of all, I hate that fucking name–“Patriot”. But if you think that you’re a “patriot” because you can quote some bullshit from the Declaration of Independence and attribute it to The United States Constitution–you’re not a patriot–you’re a fucking moron. No, no, no you’re a fucking douchebag. I’m a fucking patriot because I enlisted in the Armed Services. Do you have any idea how much of a clusterfuck it is in the military? Probably not because you were too busy trying to get deferments from entering the war in Vietnam. Yeah, remember that fucking hot mess in Vietnam??? Do you?? Do you, you fucking chicken-choking wingnut? Fifty-eight thousand young men died in that bullshit war. Fifty-eight thousand fine young men died in that war, and they didn’t die to protect your fucking freedom of speech. Some died because they believed that the principle of democracy was worth dying for. Some died because they were forced to join, while others died because they didn’t come from power and privileged pedigree’s–so they said fuck it. I’ll join. Yeah, well they are the real mother fucking patriots. So, if you didn’t fight the war in Vietnam–shut.the.fuck.up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess you know by now that I hate war. I don’t give a fuck what the excuse is for invading a country. There is never a reasonable excuse, and don’t think for one flying fuck of a second that we are going to somehow liberate a fucking country by blowing the fucker up. Then, after we blow the fucking piss out of the country; we will build schools, libraries, highways, bridges. All the while, we live in a country that has crumbling infrastructure. I can say all this shit because I’m a true liberal. If you claim to be a liberal and believe in this fucking quagmire we have going on all around the world then you’re not a fucking liberal.

Go fuck yourself.

Yeah, it’s a sad state of affairs we’ve got ourselves into. We have a bunch of pussies running the show. They’re dropping bombs in the country of Libya. Nothing says lovin’ like dropping a couple hundred thousand bunker-busting bombs on a country that is 3/4’s sand and rubble….Team America Fuck Yeah.

As a liberal, I believe that we live in the greatest country in the world and this is the country that billions of people–from every corner of the mother fucking globe–look to come someday. But these stupid dipshit teabaggers don’t want them in here.

You hear that Mexicans???

Fuck you and your stupid racist ass.

Yeah, I know what your stupid teabagging ass is thinking.

“Oh, you’re a typical mean liberal.”

Fuck you!

The whack job that went on a shooting spree in Arizona–putting an elected member of Congress in a medically induced coma–was not a liberal. That piece of shit that killed Dr. George Tiller was not a liberal. That dipshit that killed a federal judge because he couldn’t bang his wife with his limp-dick ass was not a liberal, but I’m sure he wished he was. As a liberal I like long walks on the beach, watching the sunset and banging my slut until the sun rises. In other words, I like to live my life–not fear the unbelievably stupid shit that can happen.

I’m a fucking liberal because I believe that the First Amendment applies to ALL people and not some dim-witted dipshit that shares the same belief as some other dim-witted conservative teabagging dipshit.

I believe in climate change, and you’re a dipshit if you don’t.

I believe in God when I feel like it, and I don’t try to shove my religious beliefs down others throats.

I don’t call Muslims terrorists. I call terrorists–terrorists, and if you don’t see it my way than I’m going to call all 60 year olds with grey hair and a shit-eating grin a moron because that is what George Bush was and still motherfucking is.

I believe in clean water, because when I go surfing I don’t want to have to keep an eye out for floating turds.

I’m against off-shore drilling. You wanna know why? It’s because I don’t want my fucking shrimp to taste like heavy crude, and I don’t want my red snapper to be black. I have nothing against black snapper. I just don’t want it to taste like Valvoline 10-W-40. Oh, reminds me of a funny story. This shark is teaching his son how to eat. So, they’re out in the water and come across a surfer. The father shark turns to his son and says, “Son, this is how it’s done.” The father shark circles slowly around the surfer three times. On the fourth time he grabs the surfer, pulls him off his board, drags him under the water and eats his ass. The son turned to his father and said, “Dad, why did you circle slowly around the surfer dude and not just grab him right away and eat him?” The father shark said, “Son, they taste better when they’re not full of shit.”

Speaking of shit

I believe in fiscal responsibility. If you can’t afford to buy shit–than you better not buy the shit–OR–get a second job. Yep, you guessed it. I believe in higher taxes. Apparently, 50% of the people in this country don’t pay it, and you wonder why we’re in debt.

IT’S ONLY FAIR!!!

I’m sick and tired of rich bitches going out and buying brand new Ferrari’s, Porsche’s, Bentley’s, Maserati’s, Aston Martin’s, Lamborghini’s and BMW’s with their tax breaks while I’m spending my tax break money on Juicy Fruit gum…$10 a week?? You gotta be fucking kidding me?

I fucking hate Juicy fruit gum, but not as much as I hate politicians and all the stupid people that drink their Kool-Aid.

You know who drank the Kool-Aid? The 900 dead fucks that were brainwashed by Jim Jones. Just Google his ass, but if you’re a conservative you’re too fucking lazy to do it–so take my word for it.

However, Jim Jones makes you stupid dipshit conservatives look good.

You’re pathetic, You’re old, and your stupid asses can’t spell.

I believe in Social Security.

I payed into that shit, and when my black ass retires I want most of the shit I payed into it to live off of. That’s not welfare. That’s my money, bitch.

I believe in gay marriage, and why the fuck not. If John wants to marry Danny who the fuck should care. That’s their prerogative. If they want to be as miserable as all the other miserable married folk that feel the need to hook up with some bitch on the street corner–knock yourself out.

I’m Pro-Choice. Yeah, I believe in abortion. You wanna go out and kill your unborn baby–knock yourself out. It’s the law, and until that shit gets overturned–deal with it.

And getting back to this whole price of oil bullshit; stop whining and complaining about the high gas prices. It’s not like your stupid ass didn’t see this shit coming. The oil companies have been roping us all along with yo-yo prices for years. So, stop driving your big-ass SUV’s.

This is the year 2011, and you mean to tell me that we can’t invent something less expensive to run our cars on????

You gotta be shitting me?!?!

I like to think the food that I’m eating is safe. Thank you U.S.D.A. and thank you Upton Sinclair.

If the republicans had their way they would strip every single regulatory department in the government.

With that said, I am not sorry for one fucking thing I said. You don’t like it? Fuck you!

2 thoughts on “Yeah, I’m a fucking liberal

  1. Loved the post, the rant and the content. Thanks for following me on Twitter or I’d have missed your blog.

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