My Two State Solution

Why is it that we have become such a polarized Country? Why is it that the political discourse in this Country has turned so violent–so angry? This polarization has led to a do-nothing Congress. A Congress that has become so bitterly political that its primary goal–which has proudly been stated–is to make President Barack Obama a one-term president. We live in a nation in which there are over fifteen million people unemployed, underemployed, or have moved in with their parents and have given up on looking for a job. In contrast, the top one percent of the richest people control twenty percent of all the money and they are not paying their fair share of taxes. Another fifty percent of the people in this Country get most of their payroll taxes refunded to them because they don’t make enough money to even pay taxes. Banks that were deemed “too big to fail” are getting bigger. The membership of trade unions are getting smaller. It’s not hard to see that the good paying jobs, of the past, have now moved to other Countries. It’s a shame that just thirty years ago most of our goods had the made in the U.S.A. label. I dare anyone to find that now. All of this and the conservatives feel that they pay too much in taxes. They feel that there are too many regulations. The nation is too deep in debt. However, they chose to ignore who got them there. It was the policies of the republicans that led us to where we are today, and it is highly unreasonable to blame the new guy for all of this mess.

Liberals try to fight, but they are weak. Most liberals are too afraid to show their true colors for fear of attack. This is something that I do not understand. We liberals are right, and conservatives are wrong. The conservatives will condemn the Obama stimulus plan, but they will reap the benefits of it. They condemn taxes, but they receive the same basic services that are provided through tax revenue. They condemn government, while they run for a high-power high-dollar paying job with the government. They also condemn illegal immigrants, but will jump at the chance to hire them so they can make more money.

Liberals don’t mind paying higher taxes. We also are proud of the fact that, for the most part, the oceans are clean. There is an abundant amount of clean water that we can use to drink, bath or use to wash our cars–our cars that are built safe due to regulations. These are benefits that conservatives reap, but they don’t seem to realize how it has come to be. Instead, all they talk about is building a border fence with Mexico. They talk about how homosexuals are barbarians. How carrying a gun is the closest thing to God, and oh how they talk about God.

Conservatives insist they are right. Liberals insist that we are right. So, here is my plan.

I would propose to split this Country right up the middle. The liberals would occupy the left coast, and the conservatives would occupy the right coast. There will be two executive, legislative and judicial branches of government. The liberals would have a progressive tax rate, schools, police, fire, military and every other good program that comes from tax revenue. The conservatives can live in their perfect utopia of no taxes, less government (or no government), guns, guns and more guns. They can exercise their first amendment rights. They can live in that perfect life of no government programs such as social security, medicare, Medicaid, welfare and that evil “Obamacare”. In fact, they can live in that perfect utopia of never having to live with a democratically controlled anything. Liberals will live in our perfect utopia, as well.

And just to prove how much of a great utopia it will be–there will also be a fifteen hundred mile razor-wire border fence running right up the border to keep out the conservatives…um…um…um…I mean to keep the liberals from crossing into the conservative utopia. Living on the right coast in the winter time means living with snow, and with no plow drivers to clean the roads that can spell disaster. I guess they will have to just pull themselves up by their bootstraps, or buy 4×4 trucks. The snow will be the least of their problems. They will have to deal with hurricanes, and the aftermath. It seems like they will be doing a lot of praying.

This plan would probably involve a few divorces, but who cares. All in all, I think this is a fantastic idea and don’t think I forgot about the independents. They can either live in Alaska or Hawaii.