Shaggieshapiro’s Academy Awards wrap-up


Sunday February 26,2012 was the night of the 84Th Annual Academy Awards in Hollywood, Ca. Millions of people tuned in to see their favorite celebrities get the highest honor bestowed to them–the Oscar. Many of these people shared their passion and their enthusiasm for the awards ceremony on social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook, and after the ceremony celebrities attended parties that had many of the 1% in attendance. However, while many people were celebrating this time-honored event there were many that weren’t. When Billy Crystal took to the stage in his cute musical sketch there was a gay teen that decided to end his life by putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. He decided that it was better to spend life in eternal hell than be ostracized in life. While the audience was laughing there was a soldier serving in Afghanistan looking at the picture of his wife and kids–crying his eyes out–waiting for the day that they would be reunited. On the other side of the base, three of his fellow soldiers lost their lives to an improvised explosive device. Before the first glass of champagne was served a young college girl was date raped in some dark alley of a college campus. There was a man who lost his life-long battle with drugs by dying with a hypodermic needle in his arm. Also, during the awards ceremony, there were twenty-five 13-year old girls who were forcefully packed into a van so they can be used in the illegal sex trade. There was the couple in Ohio that were holding back the door from the sheriffs that showed up to serve them an eviction notice.

Before the Best Supporting Actress Award was dished out there was an Islāmic terror cell plotting another 9/11 style attack in America. Also, there was a high school student cleaning his gun to be used the next day on his fellow students and teachers. While many people were anxiously waiting for who would win best actress there was a serial killer prowling for his next victim–and he succeeded. While P Diddy was trying to decide which one of his fifty watches to wear to the after party President Obama and his team at the State Department was trying to broker a deal with North Korea.

Five people had their years sitting on death row come to an end with a plunger serving three injections in their arms. Two of them claimed to be innocent. A woman left work running down the street to make it home in time for the awards ceremony. She didn’t make it. She was struck and killed by a drunk driver. Somewhere in America, there was a group trying to figure out how to write legislation to not let a certain subset of people vote in the upcoming elections, but hey–Meryl Streep won the best actress award. She is very talented. You know who else was talented? The cop that was killed by an illegal immigrant while performing a routine traffic stop.

Some would call me a buzz kill, but I’m just a fuckin’ liberal.

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