Dreaming of The Love That Once Was


I’ve often wondered what it would be like to be Superman.  I’ve just wondered what it would be like to grab Lois Lane by the arms and fly with her through the air.  Watching the excitement in her face when I’m doing something that just comes natural to me. In awe of the man that I am. The super man that I am. I had my Lois Lane, but love sometimes doesn’t end like they do in the movies.

I was twelve years old, my parents just got a divorce and I moved into a new neighborhood. Just as I was trying to soak up the new experience…there she was.  She was walking down my street with her sister and a friend.  I didn’t know it then, but she was the hottest girl in the world.  However, what I did know was that I was in love.  Of course, I didn’t know it back then.  It was inconceivable for a twelve year old to be in love.  At least, around the time I was growing up.  It was the summer of 1984.  She had the most amazing smile, and her hair smelled so nice.  I was just so shy.  In many ways, I found myself acting like Superman’s alter-ego Clark Kent.  I was just so awkward, but she saw something in me that I wasn’t able to see.  As the summer started to unwind I had to come to terms with the prospect of starting school.  I was petrified to start all over again.  I was petrified to develop new friendships, but I had a head start.  I made a few friends over the summer that helped me make the transition, and nothing made me happier to see my Lois share the same homeroom with me.  In fact, we shared many classes.  She made it a habit to wave and smile to me in every class, but that was just the tip of the iceberg.

She would often come over to my house after school.  She would come over with her sister, and a girlfriend to hang around with my sister.  I found that odd, because my sister was three years younger.  My sister was in elementary school, and it was frowned upon for a junior high school attendee to associate with an elementary school attendee.  What did I know, right?

One day my Lois and I were downstairs in my basement.  There was a bed down there, and I remember her jumping on the bed and her asking me to join her.  I did, and when I did she immediately jumped out of the bed, turned off the light and jump back into the bed.  I was scared, man.  So, I jumped out of the bed, turned on the light and jumped back into the bed.  She then jumped out of the bed, turned off the lights and jumped back on the bed.  We lay there, and I was scared.  So…I jumped out of  bed, turned on the lights and jumped back on.  We both lay there, and proceeded for the next half hour to turn on and turn off the lights.  Despite all this, she still managed to wave and smile to me at school.  We even used to eat together at lunch.  I figured out that she was the most beautiful girl in school when the jocks used to pick on me.  Every time I was with her it was like everyone was looking at us.  Looking back now it was like I was just a normal guy dating a gorgeous movie actress.  This went on for a couple of months, but I started to be very uncomfortable with the attention.  I remember telling a friend once that I just wish she would stop talking to me, and just like that she did.

Believe it or not, we spent the next five years not talking to each other.  We were in homeroom for all of the five years and we were just passing in the wind.  In many of the classes we shared she would sit behind me.  In others, I would sit behind her.  I watched her become the popular cheerleader.  I watched her date the popular football player.  I watched her get flowers on Valentine’s Day, and I heard about her going to all the proms.  

Not a day goes by that I didn’t wish I told her how I really felt about her, and not a day goes by that I don’t wish that I was Superman.  Because, at least, Superman could fly around the Earth a million times to go back to that time when his alter-ego Clark Kent was on the bed with his Lois.  And rather jump out of the bed to turn on the lights I would have just looked into her eyes and tell her how super I think she is.

Of all the regrets I have in life, my biggest regret was never kissing my Kellie…I mean my Lois.

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