America Voted For The One Night Stand


I spend a great deal of time thinking about time.  What if Al Gore won the electoral college back in 2000?  We wouldn’t have had a terrorist attack on 9/11?  We wouldn’t have invaded Iraq and Afghanistan.  We wouldn’t have seen the creation of ISIS.  Syria would be going on with business as usual, and the great economic recession of 2008 would not have happened.  We wouldn’t have had 8 years of tax cuts that crippled the debt. In fact, we wouldn’t be talking about the debt because it would have been paid off.  There would have been more jobs created, people wouldn’t be loosing their homes, and the ones that do own homes would see a greater equity….

…then

that would mean we would never have had an Obama Presidency.  We never would have had the chance to witness a  skillful leader to transition us through the toughest of times.  And, I guess that would mean that we wouldn’t have had to deal with Hillary Clinton and her stupid fucking emails.

Why stop there?  What if Robert F. Kennedy was not assassinated.  What if he won the presidency in 1968, against Nixon? The end of the Vietnam War?  No Watergate?No Jimmy Cater, and no fucking Ronald Reagan!…which probably would mean no Al Gore, but who gives a shit because we had Robert Fucking Kennedy and no Nixon!

If we’re talking about changing time we can’t go without talking about J.F.K, Abraham Lincoln and Hitler.  What would 8 years of a Kennedy Presidency look like?  How would he have shaped the Country?  Would he have pushed for the Civil Rights Act of 1964?  Would Abraham Lincoln have given the freed slaves their forty acres and a mule?

Let’s talk about Hitler.  What would it have been like if the allies lost World War II to Germany’s Hitler?  As a democrat, I feel that the election of Trump was just that.  America lost, Hitler won.  I’m not trying to sound hyperbolic.  It is what i is.

Just the thought of traveling back in time to right some wrongs is fascinating, and scientifically challenging.  It’s why shows that delve into the impossible are gripping. However, one thing common n all these television shows or movies involving time travel focus on the importance of preserving significant events in time as to not change events, as not to lead in cascading change.  I always thought that was one of the dumbest fucking things I ever heard.  I mean, if I had the ability to create a time machine, go back in time, suffer through the effects of what that machine can do to my physical body.  Go through the trouble of dressing up in period costume.  Go through the trouble of speaking in the dialect of the time–go back in time, and be at the instant that Lincoln gets shot and what?  Go back home?  Get the fuck out of here! I would have shot John Wilkes Booth before he ever had a chance to kill Lincoln, and I sure as hell would have killed Lee Harvey Oswald.  And, after all has been said and done–if the outcome was still the same–I would keep going back in time to fix the wrong.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I love me a big ol’ time machine, but what if I told you that we didn’t need a time machine to influence time?  What if I told you that we all are doing it–this very second.

We all have voices in our heads, right?  That certain voice that tells you what to eat.  That certain voice that tells you who to date.  That certain voice that tells you to join the military…or that certain voice that tells you to run for President of The Fucking United States.  Maybe they might not be voices, maybe they manifest themselves in gut feelings.  We all have that gut feeling.

I went on a date with a girl I met online.  We met up at a bar.  She was really hot, and not that into me.  But after a few drinks she loosened up and was digging me.  However, everything that came out of her mouth was nonsense.  The shit that was coming out sounded like some cult-like stupid liberal hippie bullshit….but she was hot.  I was horny, and my gut was telling me to jump in.  In the end, I was wrong, but I felt really good for 30 minutes or so.

Hillary Clinton had her flaws, but they weren’t as much as Trump’s.  However, in the end, America decided to vote for the one night stand.  One night stands are a lot of fun, but there is always one of them in which the other person never wants to leave the house in the morning.  Eventually, they do.  But the one night stand that voters voted for in this election is not going to leave your house.  In fact, not only is he not going to leave your house but he is going to burn it down.

However, before he burns it down he’s going to kill your gay brother, hang your black neighbor, deport your Hispanic nanny and grab your mothers pussy just before he shoves a tic tac in his herpes filled mouth, and you’re the one that is going to be shouting MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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